Category: Life

It’s been almost a year since the whole Lotto/Davis nonsense and I wanted to share my experience as a female whistle-blower in the world of cycling.

First, let me touch on some misconceptions, countless people assumed I somehow profited from sharing my experience. All my interviews and hours for those news stories were unpaid. All of the time to reply to countless abuse surrounding the event was also unpaid. The time spent with police due to threats, was again unpaid. All the time to send UCI what they wanted, also unpaid.

As a writer, you’d think maybe meeting all these people from all the different publications that perhaps one would garnish even a chance to get into the industry as a writer. Sadly they just wanted the story and moved on.

A few random people and maybe a few I know, bought me a coffee using the link in my bio. I had so much abuse about this link. It was there for years well before anything happened. A few kind gestures shouldn’t generate so much abuse. It wasn’t much, it wasn’t what people implied.

And on the subject of the abuse, I had death threats and tons of hate threads not just on Twitter. My tweets were dissected, my body trashed, you name it and I was abused because of it. Countless new accounts were created to try to discredit me and hurl abuse at me.

It was implied I’m into married guys, which is categorically untrue. Lots of sex worker comments which was funny because Allan didn’t pay me anything so where is this “work” element they speak of? I had so many people say I was on onlyfans that later in the year I finally signed up, I figured if everyone was going to abuse me for being on the site, I should at least be on the site and make some money from it, right?

So the theory I shared my experience as a get-rich scheme is laughable. And I must admit that in the throws of responding to all these fellow writers, even 1 offering to help me get into the biz would have been amazing, but it never happened.

Even my tweets trying to find work from before and after the tweet in question people made fun of, which was hurtful.

So in summary, I spent tons of hours and went through lots of stress. To this day I’m finding out people who blocked me I never interacted with, because somehow they believe it was all my fault.

People ask why women don’t come forward. Let my experience answer that for you.

 

 

One thing all cyclists want at the moment is for people to like us, in general, so we are safe on the roads, respected, seen as humans and most importantly not killed while enjoying our rides.

Impossible when there is such an internal issue with bad eggs shaming team cycling. Team cycling has issues with fellow cyclists attacking each other vs supporting each other. I can see how many outside of cycling feel cyclists aren’t very nice people, there are a lot of people on bikes who are not nice people. As a cyclist, even I can see why they don’t respect us when you see some of the bullshit posted online. This has to change, or we’re going to still be seen as targets of hate.

I’ve been made aware of some accounts that have sprouted up just to attack me. They blocked me, yet posted on my tweets and I had no idea until this week. One is a woman I used to be friendly with and even opened a 2nd account to harass me.

There is so much in this to unpack. Let’s get the important part out of the way.

I don’t care if people like me

The hate doesn’t bother me at all. The behind-my-back sneaky stuff and posting where I live, do bother me. I had a man in my DM’s talking about where I’m staying, that is creepy as fuck.

The insults really just make them look bad, it makes the cycling community look like the elitest cunts car drivers say we are.

Let’s see, I don’t cycle fast enough. Fast enough compared to who? Pogi cycles faster than me, should I go cry in the corner and sell my bike? I am faster on segments when I’m fresh and going for it, that is enough for me. Again you want people to get into cycling yet complain I’m too slow?

I didn’t vary my route in Switzerland, in winter. Any guesses why? Come on, have a good think, why would someone stick to the lake roads? Could it be ummm snow? Ice?

It was fucking freezing most days so many rides were short. I braved the cold wind and ice-cold fingers and toes vs staying inside using Zwift (which would have been better but have been belittled for this in the past too). I don’t have much body fat, and I get hypothermia easily, so I did short rides. I stuck to safe roads without ice/snow. Why would anyone feel this is a reason to insult someone is beyond me. Oddly the locals did a lot of low-elevation rides too.

Arguing I don’t have QOMs? Really? I do, but again, why would you insult someone for that? Why attempt to make fun of someone for not having KOMs or QOMs? Loads don’t, and that is totally OK.

Maybe the woman in question should do her own blog for people who only do a certain speed/length of ride/with the right shoes/etc. I bet she will get a handful of people interested in it. Leave us, normal cyclists, alone!

Trying to go down the mental checklist of insults so I can address them, oh yes I almost forgot, Ride London. Let’s insult the woman with disabilities because her Ride London time wasn’t fast enough! Oh yeah, that helps people want to ride bikes!

So, let’s talk about Ride London for a minute. 160kms is long (and yes I was oddly insulted for using KM’s although I lived in Europe a long time). I know some people are doing this length all the time, I’m even friends with some of these people. Then there are those loonies who do Audax rides, so this is short for many. But for ME this was longer than I had ever done, as a newbie cyclist. And that is ok, it was a challenge for ME. (and many many others)

I didn’t get a lot of sleep the night before (yes I’m starting the excuses early, GCN taught me this) then it was freezing to start, and lots of waiting around (freezing). The start wasn’t so bad, and the speed was good, which was stupid in hindsight as I pushed too hard then, but was cold and trying to warm up. I had to stop to wee and eat. So this was going to kill the official time, and I knew that.

I had been hit by a car the year before and still suffered from left arm pain (I still do). This was a major factor after 100 km, and it was very painful in the end.

Ride London sounded great on paper, no cars, open roads, finish in London. But there were a lot of cyclists, and not all knew road manners and there were people everywhere. Sometimes to overtake on climbs was difficult, no one knew where to be on the road.

I was first up the hills, not the first down them, the more tired I got, the more pain I was in, and the harder it all was. I do have issues going downhill since the crash and brain injury. It is improving slowly, but being tiny I’m likely never going to be the first down a hill, and guess what? I’m ok with that. If people want to insult me over that, it shows their character, not mine.

I digress, the last part of Ride London I hated. There was this long bit on the A13 that just felt off, then the tunnels, loads hated these tunnels too. I have a visual impairment and dislike tunnels. I also struggle with low light.

I was happy I finished. I did stay in my 53/11 for most of the day, a friend did the ride with me, so they can confirm. I found much of it easy, but the length was hard, and the pain was hard.

I felt like I had been hit by a truck for days after! It was a huge effort for me. If anyone can tell me why this is a reason to insult someone, do leave it in the comments, because I find it baffling. I wasn’t the fastest or the slowest and that is ok.

Some rides are just to get outside, some I’m tired (I have a zillion health issues and was diagnosed with MS as a teen although they now say it’s genetic) some I’m really going for it. It’s all up to me, the weather and how I feel. And I think most people have a mix of rides like this. And that is OK.

So let’s end this with some points, in summary:

It’s ok if you aren’t the fastest!

It’s ok if you don’t do a long ride!

Wear whatever clothes/shoes make you feel comfortable.

If you finish a big event, feel proud of yourself!

We all have strengths and weaknesses, even pro cyclists!

And if someone blocks you, move on. Don’t keep hounding them!

Also please don’t post people’s locations online, especially women. Violence against women is a very real issue, if someone doesn’t share their address/location, it’s not your place to either. Finding it somehow via Strava isn’t the same as known in the public domain as a shop is for example. It’s illegal and puts people at risk, and a dick move.

The cycling community needs to weed these people out, they aren’t making me look bad with their insults, they are making the cycling community look bad.

 

PS. The woman made a comment that men “fawn over my leg pics” which I’ll keep posting. And a nice way to admit she is still viewing tweets while blocked, publicly.